It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
