I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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