I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
