But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
