Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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