everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize