Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
