last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
