I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
