is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize