you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
