Pants 0. Shit 1.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
