like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
