he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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