I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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