Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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