so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
