Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
