I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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