I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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