I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
