new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
