Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
