I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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