"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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