If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Randomize
