How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
