Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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