would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
