We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
