I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
