no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
