sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The adults are the big ones right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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