I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
