so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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