Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
