apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize