Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
