No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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