so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
