It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
