Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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