just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
