Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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