loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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