Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize