i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
