Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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