I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
