I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
