i think i have two assholes
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
