between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
