Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
