i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions