nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
