Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
