I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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