Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
