so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Found your dick twin last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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