i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize