talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
