You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
